Wow, it has really been quite a while since I last posted. I’m sorry for my leave without any warning, but lots of exciting things have been happening in Chicago, and I have been pulled away from the blog. As I am working on my own teshuva (repentance, returning to Hashem), I wanted to share my thoughts, and I thought that putting my goals for teshuva for myself into words, that might help bring them into fruition at this time of calling to come closer to Hashem.
This year, I’ve found this time of year to be especially trying. I’ve learned from my teachers that it is better to pick one small character trait to work on improving rather than try to take too much on and spread ourselves too thin. In the past, I’ve really had time to sit down, take an accounting of how far I’ve come and where I still need to go, and decide what midda (character trait) I will focus on during the month of Elul and the Aseres y’mei teshuva (10 days of repentance between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur). But this year, I find myself just hours away from the Kol Nidre service on Yom Kippur night, and I find myself grappling with the idea that there is still so much to be done. This year, I’m going with something that one of my rebbetzins suggested: “Try your best.” While I do happen to be one of those people that has the Fear of Hashem instilled in me, I also know that all that is really asked of us is to give it our all and strengthen our relationship with the Almighty. No matter how little I am able to actually sit down and devote time to solely working on myself, the fact that I know I need to and am thinking about what I can do to be better is exactly what I need to be doing.
As is custom this time of year, I want to take a moment to ask forgiveness from anyone who I haven’t had a chance to ask in person for anything I may have done to hurt you this past year. I am also asking forgiveness for being so general and asking this here. Apologizing and asking forgiveness is one of the hardest things a person has to do, and everyone deserves sincere apologies.
For now, I wish you all a G’mar Chasima Tova. May you all be sealed, immediately, for a good year of health and simchas. And may we all merit to be in Jerusalem this time next year with the Beis HaMikdash.